The Changeling

Okay, I'm not big into the whole New Year's Resolution thing, I've always figured you don't need a calendar to dictate when and how you make decisions and this year isn't really different. I guess it's just a matter of convenient timing that this year, with all of the holiday chaos over, I've had some extra time to stop and really reflect on some things and, apparently, even sit down and write about some of them.

Now that we're a little over one week into the new year, I've decided that 2010 was a year of transitions for me. Without going too deep into it, the past year and a half has been pretty hard for me. The summer of 2008, I moved 600 miles away to live in a new city with eight strangers and work full-time as a volunteer in a teens' homeless shelter. As strange as it sounds, that program was the best year of my life. After working in entertainment for 12 years, I found something that gave me a sense of purpose, something that gave meaning to everything else that had come before. I was spending my time actually accomplishing something and making a tangible difference- however small- in real peoples' lives. It was the first time I really felt at home. It was the first time I felt like I was right where I was supposed to be. After a year, in July of 2009, that volunteer program ended way before I was ready, and before I knew it, I was moving back to everything I'd always known and nothing I'd ever really enjoyed. It was a traumatic move for me and I spent the last five months of that year nearly catatonic.

I didn't really start growing into my new life until January 2010 when I finally started working in theatre again. I had something to do with my time and people to spend it with. I spent the rest of the year building those relationships and finally starting to meet new people and accept my new life. See, up until then, I'd been in denial. I wanted my volunteer life back and didn't know how to move on into the next chapter of my life. Almost exactly a year ago, I finally started transitioning out of my old life into a new one. I can't believe how long a year it's been, but I feel like I've come a long way and really learned some long-needed life lessons.

-I've learned how to appreciate the people who love me for who I am and not sweat the people who don't.
-I learned how to communicate more honestly and be more open with my friends.
-I've learned that it's not the end of the world if I embarrass myself in front of people. Even in front of him (whoever "he" may be at the time).
-I've learned that real friendships will withstand, and even be strengthened by, the worst of circumstances if both sides are willing.
-I've finally learned that silly baseball metaphor and that several of my male acquaintances probably got the wrong idea when I suggested we hang out and get a few drinks.
-I've learned to take risks again.

Overall, I think I've learned how to like and appreciate myself again, which makes everything else fall into place SO much easier!

I learned how to be happy again

I got a part-time job that I actually like, which really helps. I'm back working in a kids' shelter and doing work that makes me feel like I'm spending my time doing something real again.

I still don't believe in that magic "reset" button at midnight on New Year's Eve, but I'm hopeful this year that I am finally in a place where I can start putting all the drama and heartache of 2010 behind me and finally start moving forward in 2011. And 2012. And 2013...

Hey, I even got to go to start it off with my first
 New Year's Eve party in 11 years!